Friday, July 23, 2021


I've always had books.  Dad had a full set of Zane Grey novels, tan with a red stripe, and WW2 coffee table books full of black and white real history photos.  True West and Frontier Times came every month.  He had paper backs scattered all over the place.  War stories, westerns, I had a few Tom Swifts and my sister got Nancy Drew books in the mail all the time.  The newspaper...

There was a shelf with red books (one had the first poem I learned, Eletelephony) grey encyclopedias from the early 50's, a dictionary, thesaurus and mom's Gregg shorthand manuals.  I remember hardbound Reader's Digest condensed books, all kinds of books.

The Little Golden Books were really neat though.  They had brilliant colors and amazingly detailed, in depth articles of tremendous importance and  scientific value...  Like this one:

ad for a sold book
My First Medical Reference Journal

That breathtaking beauty was drug all over creation by Doctor Dan the bandage man, and his side kick Tom the four barrel V8.  Did you see the keen cans on the wagon?  What style, what grace, and I bet you could see those flashing cans for miles!!!!

When she applied the band aid (fair use, I swear), the world was made right and the victim was saved.

Now, I'm not equating any of you with her, that would make me yak on the floor.  No, maybe Tom the V8, or Doctor Dan...  Or really, just a great league of folks...

The very pointed request I made for INPUT was answered.  It was amazingly consistent and pointed generally in the same direction.  If that isn't confirmation I don't know what is.

 How to Fool Yourself Into Doing Something Smart

 I have the smartest daughter in creation.  I know both her parents and they could not possible have had anything to do with her development.  Yet, I remember being there for all of it.  She knows my desire for autodidactism.  She knows how to reach my logic, such as it is, too.

When I started to glom onto the change in mental state when on the "stamina" med, we talked about how to find out if there really was an issue.  She said, "you never seem to have a problem paying tuition for quality education.  Why not consider an evaluation and therapy as tuition?  To get a quality education about yourself."  That hit like a Skin Bracer slap.  I could accept that.  It worked out well, too.

In all the sand blowing into my eyes the last two months, I lost sight of that concept.  How in the heck I ever thought I could navigate this new territory on my own, with my ignorance fully intact and at max smoke, I will never understand.  I guess I was overwhelmed and started the squirrel's final pirouette in the middle of the road.  You know, where they are running like mad, almost make it then double back to find safe refuge under your tires...  But the light began to dawn when you started to respond. 


yeah, like that

This little jack russell thought started popping up in the back window.  It just kept popping up and distracting me from what I was reading...  Only after the last reread of the emails yesterday did I stop and pay attention.  "Hey, why not pay some tuition for a quality education."


Oh fer garden seed....


Standing too close to the problem limits your view

What an ignorant zipperhead I have been.  Duly noted.  I wonder how much prayer it took to slide that thought into my mind?  Thank you.

I have a friend that knows an experienced barrister.   And now, pending a consult, so do I.  I did talk a while to the paralegal...

Hey, did you know that I didn't count days correctly and I didn't miss that deadline?  Hey, did you know that other date isn't the finish line but actually the starting line?  Me either.  Filed the paperwork a day early.  No need to rush.  How about taking some time to heal up and rest?  How about a massive reduction in pressure?  Yeah, I'm up for all that.

Simple.  So simple. 

You will always have a place by my fire.... anytime

I cannot thank you enough.  

 clarity, sweet clarity....


  1. Keep us posted, STxAR. You have fans. ;)

    1. A "public" Glen. We're a "public". Movie stars have a public. So does STxAr.

    2. I have a host of friends. And blamed happy I do.

  2. STxAR, it is funny how perspective changes things. I am like you in that I will happily spend money on something like books (the staff of life, after all. Bread is optional.) but not on something like a physical evaluation or assistance, forgetting of course that without the body, the mind quickly follows. Good on you for being teachable, and your daughter for being a genius.

    I, too, have a place for old books. I have a fair collection of the Raggedy Anne stories from the 1920's and 1930's in their garish colors and happy thoughts. I read them in my school library once upon a time. I doubt you can find them anymore.

    1. I KNOW if you don't where you are, you have no hope in reaching a destination. That is one of my givens. How I missed that when I was dancing all around it, is a testimony to how wrapped up and focused I can get on things. The perspectives you gave to me, also gave me pause. I hesitate to say they were uniform, but the overlapping and "the answer is that-a-way" of them assured me I had asked some good men that had wisdom and experience that I lacked.

      Books were the best friends I had as a kid. With my ability to get lost in things, I was in the airplane with Tom Swift. I was in the CM Russell painting smelling the dirt, smoke and horse sweat... Hearing the leather creak on the saddle.

      My daughter remarked on how I smooth pages with both hands when I read. I think that is a caress as much as anything else. I love the heft, the smell, the feel and the typeface of older, quality books. And then we can talk about the mighty ideas and information they hold and give away with just a little effort.

      Thanks for investing some time in me.

  3. Replies
    1. I'm so far away from a week ago, I feel like I'm in a different time zone. Thanks man.