I Aplogize, Most Humbly

 When I was a kid, we played cowboys and indians.  I had my hat, vest, chaps, a belt with 2 silver cap guns...  I was born wearing jeans and boots (sorry about that mom). My sister said I was a self proclaimed "do dun dowdoy".  I've always had an admiration for the folks that settled the west, and those that were the best light cavalry on this continent.  I know I have at least one side represented in my lineage.  I have pictures on my walls right now that hung in my parent's room growing up.  Cowboys, Indians, western subjects,  old farm houses... I still consider my self a DOT (danged ol' Texan) that is riding line and looking for strays.  

 

If this were me, I'd have my left leg hooked around the saddle horn too.

I don't hit the office much, and my area to cover is south Texas.  So I a wound up being a cowboy, well, sort of anyway...

----Non PC Content Below The Fold----

----content that was perfectly fine in 1977---- 

ugh...

Not catching many breaks around here....

Morton Salt....  Remember the rest?

Recouperation

I've always had books.  Dad had a full set of Zane Grey novels, tan with a red stripe, and WW2 coffee table books full of black and white real history photos.  True West and Frontier Times came every month.  He had paper backs scattered all over the place.  War stories, westerns, I had a few Tom Swifts and my sister got Nancy Drew books in the mail all the time.  The newspaper...

There was a shelf with red books (one had the first poem I learned, Eletelephony) grey encyclopedias from the early 50's, a dictionary, thesaurus and mom's Gregg shorthand manuals.  I remember hardbound Reader's Digest condensed books, all kinds of books.

The Little Golden Books were really neat though.  They had brilliant colors and amazingly detailed, in depth articles of tremendous importance and  scientific value...  Like this one:

My First Medical Reference Journal

That breathtaking beauty was drug all over creation by Doctor Dan the bandage man, and his side kick Tom the four barrel V8.  Did you see the keen cans on the wagon?  What style, what grace, and I bet you could see those flashing cans for miles!!!!

When she applied the band aid (fair use, I swear), the world was made right and the victim was saved.

Now, I'm not equating any of you with her, that would make me yak on the floor.  No, maybe Tom the V8, or Doctor Dan...  Or really, just a great league of folks...

The very pointed request I made for INPUT was answered.  It was amazingly consistent and pointed generally in the same direction.  If that isn't confirmation I don't know what is.

 How to Fool Yourself Into Doing Something Smart

 I have the smartest daughter in creation.  I know both her parents and they could not possible have had anything to do with her development.  Yet, I remember being there for all of it.  She knows my desire for autodidactism.  She knows how to reach my logic, such as it is, too.

When I started to glom onto the change in mental state when on the "stamina" med, we talked about how to find out if there really was an issue.  She said, "you never seem to have a problem paying tuition for quality education.  Why not consider an evaluation and therapy as tuition?  To get a quality education about yourself."  That hit like a Skin Bracer slap.  I could accept that.  It worked out well, too.

In all the sand blowing into my eyes the last two months, I lost sight of that concept.  How in the heck I ever thought I could navigate this new territory on my own, with my ignorance fully intact and at max smoke, I will never understand.  I guess I was overwhelmed and started the squirrel's final pirouette in the middle of the road.  You know, where they are running like mad, almost make it then double back to find safe refuge under your tires...  But the light began to dawn when you started to respond. 

 

yeah, like that

 

This little jack russell thought started popping up in the back window.  It just kept popping up and distracting me from what I was reading...  Only after the last reread of the emails yesterday did I stop and pay attention.  "Hey, why not pay some tuition for a quality education."

 

Oh fer garden seed....

 

Standing too close to the problem limits your view

What an ignorant zipperhead I have been.  Duly noted.  I wonder how much prayer it took to slide that thought into my mind?  Thank you.

I have a friend that knows an experienced barrister.   And now, pending a consult, so do I.  I did talk a while to the paralegal...

Hey, did you know that I didn't count days correctly and I didn't miss that deadline?  Hey, did you know that other date isn't the finish line but actually the starting line?  Me either.  Filed the paperwork a day early.  No need to rush.  How about taking some time to heal up and rest?  How about a massive reduction in pressure?  Yeah, I'm up for all that.

Simple.  So simple. 

You will always have a place by my fire.... anytime. 

I cannot thank you enough.  

 clarity, sweet clarity....

It just keeps getting better...

I have always known I'm an odd duck.  I wasn't wired up like anyone else I knew.  My head worked different than anyone in my family, except maybe my dad.  He was the benevolent dictator at times, other wise, inscrutable and ornery. 

One thing that I crave is clarity.  That usually comes through discussion with those I admire and trust.  Trust and admiration only happens after time and observation.  I sent out the first newsletter to those who asked, that I knew from our interactions.  No newbies allowed, I guess.

I haven't gleaned much if any new info as a result of NL1, so I feel it was just a whine-fest.  Not what I was interested in doing.  I need intel.

So......

 

Working up a second newsletter.  I may not continue this after number 2.  But I am amazed at what has been happening.

Here is the deal.  If you want to catch up, fine by me.  But I expect feedback.  I'm not giving info for no purpose.  I desire direction, encouragement, a stern talking to, something to learn or do or avoid.  You folks are a wealth of lifetime wisdom. I have developed trust through our conversations, even if we haven't shanken hands or slapped backs. If it seems like Ned and First Reader stuff, send it anyway.  I need it.  Otherwise, we can wait for Friday at the The Irishman's Lair.

If this is a waste of time, then I'll drop it, and just try and keep up to date with the piddly goings on around here as this chapter ends and the next unfolds.

But if you are interested in meat, ask for NL2.  And be prepared to advise.  This isn't an unveiling, this is a request for intel in an area I am completely unfamiliar with.  

 

STxAR sends.