Harsh news on the home front. It has been keeping my mind preoccupied. Sorry about the lack of new stuffuss. Preparing my mind for the next steps. Steps I've never even considered or wanted. On this, I had no plan B. May God be merciful to me.
Didja see this???
I have been busy..... honest....
- Working on a biz plan for the side work I've been doing, so I can keep doing it.
- Finishing up a project that has broken all desire to ever see a similar device.
- A few new responsibilities at the day job and a dawning realization that I may never get to retire from it.
- Rekindling a friendship after a buddy's return from decades overseas.
- Educating myself about a new diagnosis. One that I have had since the spark of life. One that has flavored everything I've ever done. And is incredibly frustrating to work through. Oh, there's a pill for that, too?
- Working on cleaning up clutter (like my patron saint, Saint Phil the Hoplophile).
A bit maudlin perhaps?
I surround myself with pictures of men that I remember reading about, men that lived lives worth emulating.
Here's one:
He did the best he knew how. He didn't quit until he was done. I aspire to that. I take courage from men like this. Men that stuck it out. Men that didn't quit when they were tired. Men that didn't stop until they were finished. Men that gracefully moved on when it was called for.
Some of you guys that come by to visit, I read what you write on the webz, and I take courage from it. Know this, that if no one else cares about what you say, I do. Most of you are brothers, friends I've never met. Men that live lives that, at least parts of if not most of, are worth emulating. Folks that I wouldn't mind meeting.... well, once anyway! Don't want to promise too much...
Last year was a tough one. This one has a looming shadow that I can't seem to shake loose from. I understand the image of the hammerfall now. Waiting....
Working on hope for the future. Preparing for major changes in my orbit.
Thanks for caring enough to come by and visit. I have a tonne of stuff to edit and put up.... Finding the umph has been... difficult.
Side note: did you know that this was prayed for you? I did. I needed to hear it again, too.
I figured you have been busy and don't fret too much about that sense of dread that won't go away. I've had it for years now and pretty much all of my nightmares have come to life.
ReplyDeleteAt least I can try and kid myself that I am not surprised about it anyway.
Keep your chin up my man, sometimes slogging through the muck makes it hard to see progress. Reading your latest missive tells me that you have indeed been making some, even if it's hard to discern from your viewpoint.
Phil, thank you. You have had one rough row to hoe, and you've set your chin and did / are doing it. Thanks for finding the time to come by and give me some encouragement. I appreciate it brother.
DeleteDon't know the nature of your predicament, so all I can do is give you encouragement. Hope is difficult to find when your world comes crumbling down. Sometimes all you can do is get through the next hour. Set short goals, small steps. Minor milestones to give you a sense of accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteDigit damage Mike in Maine.
Your prescription has gotten me to this point from last April. I had a concussion, a month of "recovery", months of relearning my limits, relearning my tools. I had a full measure two times over in family stress, too. I'm glad it didn't happen in a single day like Job.
DeleteI am trying to put out some good machining stuff, but I'm a bit thin on stamina these days...
Diagnosis are hard, especially if unexpected. Be patient and kind to yourself. You know your limits, try not to press through them.
ReplyDeleteThe retirement realization is hard - is the side business not something you could grow more to replace "the regular business"?
The reality from Washington - and lots of lesser known lights, including those you refence out here on the InterWeb - it that a lot of life is just done by showing up and pushing the goal line forward, even if it is only a few inches. As long as you are moving forward, it matters not how long it takes you to get there.
Welp, my reply wound up down below...
DeleteMy Dad always said, "Keep punching!" It's really all we can do.
ReplyDeleteBut it works.
Hey Ed. Thanks for stopping by to visit. You seem like a fun guy.... hehehe...
DeleteThat was taught to me as well. And it has served me well since. This pause gave me time to reflect at my own pace.
I spend every morning reading your thoughts. Thank you for being so reliable.
Some people have said not to admit to it. But it explains my life to a T. The concussion lead to it in a round about way.
ReplyDeleteRetirement, is a weird spot. I can't sit still, so I know I'll be doing until I can't But the possibilities I'm looking at will drain the tiny investments I have. I'm hoping the side work will help if not replace the day job.
I'm not a quitter. I have a low range first gear that I get into when I need to keep going in spite of. I hit that four or five years ago, and the bump put me into neutral for quite a while. Probably a good thing. Since then, I've found out a lot about myself I didn't know. All of it explains the why and how of my life. It's been enlightening. And quite a gift from the Giver.
STxAR - I would say that for most anymore, "retirement" as it was viewed in the 60's and 70's not a possibility - nor a desired outcome. We all have a better chance of living longer and better if we are doing something. You are quite a skilled machinist - I cannot imagine that you would go wanting for "side jobs".
DeleteHaving an explanation helps to make everything all the better, or at least more comprehensible.
AR, you are one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. The depth of your knowledge and technical expertise is admirable.
ReplyDeleteYou have shown a great kindness for what you did for us...
keep plugging away my friend.
Thank you. Meeting someone in meatspace is like a blind date. You really don't know what to expect. I was hoping I wouldn't be a disappointment. I'm glad you enjoyed the visit. I sure did. I've been trying to get back up there to say hi again.
DeleteAnd I appreciate the compliment. I believe in giving. Not just money, but time, skills, whatever. I believe God gave me whatever capacity I have, and I'm happy to share it. It would have been nice to have completed that job, but the foresight of that cutoff really saved the day.
Thanks for stopping by.
Well I hope things work out, STxAR. I know you have to guard your privacy these days... but if you can, get as much help as you can. Don't be afraid to lean when you need to. Take time to look after yourself too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Glen. I am and I will.
DeletePrivacy.... I'm kicking around an old idea that might help explain for those interested enough to run a hurdle or two.